Lipstick Stains on Your Pillow

You know me, forever curious.

One of the questions I most recently asked my facebook and twitter peeps was how does your cel phone help your sex life?

A few answers were…

1. Sexting. Two people working all day leaves little energy teasing through text of what he can look forward to when he comes home ALWAYS gives him something to be energetic about.
2. Sexy photos with my camera phone.
3. We make videos that and watch them at a later time.
4. Drunk texting my sweetie while I’m still at the bar!
5. Connecting my husband and I with our girlfriend 5k miles away!
6. The vibration setting is kinda handy when the bank is calling and I ignore them. They wont let up, thank god!

How about you? How has your cel phone enhanced your sex life? Post a comment and inspire me!

(Much thanks to those who already piped up! xo)

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Mouths are hot. In so many ways. But this post has had me thinking of better ways to care for one’s mouth when it comes to sex.

Understanding and having barriers available is half the battle. Then, even in a sexed up fog, you have what you need in the moment. I gave you a hot of safer oral sex option here.

But you can also cut a condom into a square for a quick and easy dental dam.

Or you can cut it up the pinky side, snip the fingers off and create a dental dam with a tongue pocket!

And if you want to use your fingers and tongue together, two quick snips up the sides makes that possible. You fingers are then inside her pussy, anchoring the dam at the bottom and then just pull the flap up and lick away!

Having safer oral sex is not the easiest thing to do. We are animals. Part of our attraction is to be able to smell and taste our lovers. It tells us how healthy they are and helps to establish compatibility.

If you still find it impossible to use barriers during oral sex, you can start by getting tested together and at the very least avoiding flossing before you see your partner. This will help keep your gums in tact and potential reduce your risks of contracting infections.

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Everyone knows I am strong advocate for both awesome oral sex and safer sex. Much of the world believes oral sex is the safest sex, but the truth is that any oral, vaginal or anal sex leaves us vulnerable to infections.

I had the fortune of meeting Alan, this awesome advocate for oral health screenings. He is also a three-time survivor of oral cancer himself. He told me…

It is my belief is that there is a lot of confusion because of three somewhat contradictory facts.

1. The growth in oral cancers is associated with cancers where the HPV-16 virus is evident.  If caught early this cancer is highly treatable with minimal loss in speaking and swallowing abilities.
2. People who have had 6 or more sexual partners (different studies talk about oral and vaginal sex partners) are 9 times more likely to get oral cancer.
3. There is no link between HPV presence in the mouth and the development of a tumor within any reasonable length of time.   HPV is not a pre-cancerous signal that says medical professionals have to watch the person real closely.

What does that leave you with?  Well safe sex sounds nice for oral sex (condoms and dental dams/saran wrap, but as you know while many people may practice safe sex for vaginal or anal sex, they are much less likely to do so for oral.

This left me with a ridiculously simple recommendation.  See your dentist and get oral cancer exams during normal check-ups even if you don’t smoke/chew tobacco, practice good dental hygiene (brushing and flossing) to make it more difficult for the virus to attach itself to the gums, if you use mouthwash, avoid alcohol based mouthwashes, and know the symptoms and if they persist see a medical professionals.

Much thanks Alan for all the light you shine on this issue. It helps everyone know know to make more informed decisions and to better care for themselves.

And know how to use barriers. It’s easier than you might think! For example, here is a dental damn. They are so thin and sultry feeling. You hardly know it’s there and it’s an easy way to protect your mouth and their vulva and anus. And check out this super cool Dental Dam Harness! It makes safer sex a little more kinky! (If you don;t have a dental dam handy, Suran Wrap is a perfectly good oral barrier. Just not as sexy to me.)

Get some of these super sexy latex gloves. Slather them with silicone lube and everyone will line up for your touch! (You think I’m kidding?)

And these flavored condoms are surprisingly tasty! Put a drop of lube inside the condom before you slide it down his shaft, this way he will feel wetness with the warmth of your mouth. Yum.

Ask your dentist for an oral cancer screening the next time you see them.

More resources:  Planned Parenthood | Head & Neck Cancer Alliance | Oral Cancer Foundation

Illustration by Stu Helm.

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UTI stands for Urinary Tract Infection. The urinary tract includes the urethra, bladder, the ureter tubes that connect the bladder to the kidneys and the kidneys. Almost every woman will have one at some point in her life. A UTI is usually caused by bacteria but can sometimes be caused by increased sexual activity, sexually transmitted infections (STDs), low immune system, poor diet, stress, birth defects, or surgery. Pregnant women (due to pelvic pressure) and postmenopausal women (due to hormonal changes) may be more susceptible to UTIs.

Prevention

• Wear cotton underwear. Wear loose clothing rather than tight jeans or pantyhose.
• Take showers rather than baths.
• Always wipe front to back after you go to the bathroom to avoid getting bacteria from your rectum into your urethra.
• Be patient when you go to the bathroom and give yourself a chance to completely empty your bladder.
• Have foreplay in the shower, taking time to wash away any bacteria that may be on your or your partner’s hands and body. Make it a fun part of your sex play.
• Pee after sex play to flush any possible bacteria out of your urethral opening.
• Keep your genital area clean. Wash thoroughly with water. Avoid harsh soaps, glycerin soaps and douches. I recommend that if you want to use soap, use something very mild, like Celaphil liquid. It is available at any pharmacy.
• Avoid scented sprays and scented panty liners, pads or tampons.
• Drink pure cranberry juice. Avoid “juice drinks” with corn syrup and other sweeteners. Try to find pure juice, sweetened only with apple juice. Cranberries contain a tannin called proanthocyanidin, which inhibits bacteria from sticking to the bladder walls.
• Take a daily 400-milligram cranberry-extract tablet. Available at health food stores.
• Avoid spermicide. Spermicide is sometimes found on condoms or used in conjunction with diaphragms. Spermicide alters the healthy vaginal bacterial flora and can leave you more vulnerable to infections.
• Consult an herbalist to find the proper teas and herbs that make work for your body.
• Get plenty of sleep and take measures to reduce stress in your life.
• Limit sugar, starches, caffeine and alcohol.

Signs of an Infection May Include: Painful urination, frequent urination, trouble passing urine, cloudy urine, fever/chills, blood in urine and/or body aches.

Treatment: See your doctor. Follow their treatment plan. Fever, chills, blood in your urine or pain in your kidneys (your back, below your rib cage) can be signs of an advanced infection and may require more urgent care. As always, drink plenty of liquids. Follow all of the tips for prevention listed above.

Resources: Cabrini Medical Center, Health Magazine, Our Bodies, Ourselves by The Boston Women’s Health Book Collective

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